Thursday, May 17, 2012

"...I Think I'm Getting The Fear..."

Dr. Gonzo – Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)

Here I was, over one thousand miles away from my home, and I was getting The Fear. Not the crazy, paranoia drug-induced kind of fear that Dr. Gonzo was experiencing. But the crazy, paranoia, Lyme-induced kind that I associated with suspicious bug bites.

I was on a mini-vacation in Florida and I was bitten by some flying insect, which left a suspicious mark.  The bite wasn’t anything like the supposed Lyme-infected mosquito bite that caused me to relapse in September. The bite was smaller and had a light pink circle around it. It grew to about the size of a 50 cent piece. By the next day, it was the size of a nickel. Still, the uncontrollable panic and Fear trigger from my tainted past, burst my happy bubble and sank me into a depressed state in a matter of minutes.

“Here I go again,” I bemoaned. “I can’t believe this is happening.” Of course I had the repellent on me, but it was a windy day. I didn’t think I needed it. But, thankfully, I had the doxycycline on me and I started to take it the next day, just in case.

When I saw Dr. Goodsoul the following week, he had another diagnosis for me. I was reacting emotionally. I had what he called a “neuropsychoimmunological” response. Very simply, my fear of suspicious bites, triggered my fear of chronic disease (aka chronic Lyme), which triggered my immune system to react.

The mind is very powerful. Your thoughts and emotions can influence your health.

Through muscle testing, Dr. Goodsoul discovered that I was still emotionally reacting to my first tick bite. I still felt the The Fear of Helplessness. The Fear of Hopelessness. The Fear of Isolation. The Fear of Depression. The Fear of Chronic Sickness.

I had unknowingly imprinted this fear as a regular thought pattern. I often wondered if my fear of biting bugs can actually attract biting bugs in my direction. Was this possible? I remember having a fear of Lyme disease before I became sick with Lyme. I thought about it every time I would walk on the grass. Could my fear of Lyme (plus other factors), help to depress my immune system to the point where I got sick? Does fear really attract fear?  Can Fear make you sick?

Holistic practitioners see the mind, body and spirit connection. Dr. Goodsoul knows the devastating effect that negative emotions have on your health. Can unresolved fears make you sick? Absolutely! Can negative emotions attract more negative emotions? Yes, again!   Can my unresolved fear be resolved? Yes!  

So, as I lay on Dr. Goodsoul’s examining table, I started to recall that moment in my life when I discovered the first horrendous bite that lead to chronic Lyme. Dr. Goodsoul gave me purple (emotional) glasses to calm me down. While wearing the glasses, I gazed at his hand as he hypnotically made a figure eight pattern above my face.

Now, comes the interesting part…I started to tap, using all my fingers, on specific acupuncture points. As I tapped I recited my Fear:

“I’m afraid of bug bites leading to chronic disease. I’m afraid I will never be completely well. I’m afraid that I don’t have the power to be well. I’m afraid of chronic disease.”

I felt almost nauseous from this huge emotional upheaval that was raging inside of me. I was hearing words that I didn’t want to hear. I had to face something I didn’t want to face. What had been at the back of my mind, every minute of every day, was now exposed.

I began to hoarsely hum as I continued tapping. Tears were streaming down my face. All I kept thinking was that I had to go on. I had to finish this. There was no turning back.

Before we went to the next step, Dr. Goodsoul turned to me and said:

“So, what did you learn?”

What did I learn? I never expected him to ask me that question. I took the glasses off ,  collected my thoughts and whispered haltingly, “ I’m afraid of chronic disease.”

“Yes. And now you are going to begin to dissolve this fear.”

So, I resumed tapping. I was prompted to say powerful statements to undo what I had done to myself. I was now saying spiritual and emotional words of affirmations:

“Even though, I fear bug bites leading to chronic disease, I believe that I have the power to be completely healthy and whole.”

“Even though, I fear bug bites leading to chronic disease, I believe that through God’s guidance and help, I will be completely healthy and whole.”

“Even though, I fear chronic disease, I give myself permission, through God’s light and love, to be completely healthy and whole.”

I was asking for God’s guidance and help – in Dr. Goodsoul’s office.

We are all spiritual beings, after all. And sometimes, we need extra help – from within.

The greatest mistake in the treatment of diseases
Is that there are physicians for the body and
physicians for the soul,
although the two cannot be separated.

-PLATO (427-347 BC)

To be cont…

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