I am reading a book that has profoundly changed my way of thinking. For me, it has answered the question of who we are, why we are here, why we suffer, and what is our purpose. The book has also introduced the concept that we have two different thought processes - ego thought and divine thought.
Ego thoughts are derived from fear, which manifests as anger, hate, guilt and resentment. They bounce from the past to the future.
Divine thoughts come from love, expressed as joy, gratitude, compassion, and are always in the present mind.
Back in 2011, I remember Dr. Gurevich telling me “it’s time to change the way you think.” I remember being shocked at these words. “My thinking is fine,” I thought. But I was so wrong. At that time, I wasn’t aware of my thoughts. I had no idea that I was engulfed in ego thought and that most of these subconscious thoughts were looping around in my mind and repeating the same mantra over and over again...I am a victim, I am being punished, I’m not good enough!!
I started to become aware of my thoughts when I was washing the dinner dishes one night. All of a sudden, my thoughts churned up past feelings of being pissed off at either my mom, or a childhood friend, or someone in my past that I believed had wronged me.
One evening, when I was preparing dinner, the thought that I was pissed off at my mother for something she said to me when I was in high school, popped into my head. It was as if my mom was right next to me, talking in an authoritative, unloving voice of disapproval of one of my friends at that time. I remember feeling suffocated and trapped. She did not want to hear my reason for our friendship. She just didn’t like the way this person looked. Her opinion was purely based on the way he looked. I felt that I couldn’t get through to her and there was nothing I can do. I felt a rage coming over me, I despised her at that time, for being so judging. I remember thinking, I couldn’t wait to get out of the house and get away from her. And where did this drama unfold?
In the kitchen, while preparing dinner!
And that’s when it hit me:
Was this past thought jumping up every time I prepared dinner? Could this be a reason why preparing even a simple dinner was so burdening for me? Sure enough, the next night, my thoughts were instantly going back to the same past argument with my mother. How was I going to get this out of my head? What I didn’t realize at that time was that I already begun the process of letting go that thought. I had become aware of one thought that was causing me anger, grief and literally torturing me every time I prepared dinner.
At that time, I was still sick with Lyme symptoms, so I turned to Dr. Gurevich to help me to let go of this past trauma. Releasing conditioned ego thoughts are very hard to do on your own. (See The Holistic Dr. Goodsoul for my therapy session with Dr. Gurevich)
Since I am symptom free now, I have found wonderful practitioners near me, who have helped to shift my thoughts of fear and anger to love and forgiveness.
Douglas Economy, a Holistic Psychotherapist and Life Coach, specializes in Family Constellation workshops, and has helped me to release past trauma and see myself and my loved ones, in a loving and joyful way. Family constellation work is a powerful therapy that has profoundly changed my life! (See Systemic Family Constellation - A Miracle Therapy) for more info.
Kathy Moser is a gifted CranioSacral Therapist who has helped me to resolve physical as well as emotional pain. She has helped me to connect to my Spiritual Self and to the truth of who I am. Kathy is part of my life journey in forgiveness work and staying healthy in mind, body and spirit. (See CranioSacral Therapy & Somato Emotional Release for my healing session with Kathy).
I feel very blessed that Douglas and Kathy are part of my journey of wellness. I am also blessed that they have helped me to decipher and understand the life changing book that I mentioned earlier. For this book, is the foundation to a new way of thinking for me. Thinking without fear, without judgment, and with forgiveness, is very new to me. And that is why I am now a student.
A student in learning to think and act with love and kindness. A student of forgiving and letting go. A student of transforming my thoughts into my “heaven on Earth.”
I am blessed to be a student of “A Course in Miracles.”
It’s got all the answers.