Thursday, April 20, 2017

A NEW WAY OF THINKING



I am reading a book that has profoundly changed my way of thinking. For me, it has answered the question of who we are, why we are here, why we suffer, and what is our purpose. The book has also introduced the concept that we have two different thought processes - ego thought and divine thought.

Ego thoughts are derived from fear, which manifests as anger, hate, guilt and resentment. They bounce from the past to the future.

Divine thoughts come from love, expressed as joy, gratitude, compassion, and are always in the present mind.

Back in 2011, I remember Dr. Gurevich telling me “it’s time to change the way you think.”  I remember being shocked at these words.  “My thinking is fine,” I thought. But I was so wrong. At that time, I wasn’t aware of my thoughts. I had no idea that I was engulfed in ego thought and that most of these subconscious thoughts were looping around in my mind and repeating the same mantra over and over again...I am a victim, I am being punished, I’m not good enough!!

I started to become aware of my thoughts when I was washing the dinner dishes one night. All of a sudden, my thoughts churned up past feelings of being pissed off at either my mom, or a childhood friend, or someone in my past that I believed had wronged me.

One evening, when I was preparing dinner, the thought that I was pissed off at my mother for something she said to me when I was in high school, popped into my head. It was as if my mom was right next to me, talking in an authoritative, unloving voice of disapproval of one of my  friends at that time. I remember feeling suffocated and trapped. She did not want to hear my reason for our friendship. She just didn’t like the way this person looked. Her opinion was purely based on the way he looked. I felt that I couldn’t get through to her and there was nothing I can do. I felt a rage coming over me, I despised her at that time, for being so judging.  I remember thinking, I couldn’t wait to get out of the house and get away from her. And where did this drama unfold?

In the kitchen, while preparing dinner!

And that’s when it hit me:

Was this past thought jumping up every time I prepared dinner? Could this be a reason why preparing even a simple dinner  was so burdening for me? Sure enough, the next night, my thoughts were instantly going back to the same past argument with my mother. How was I going to get this out of my head? What I didn’t realize at that time
was that I already begun the process of letting go that thought. I had become aware of one thought that was causing me anger, grief and literally torturing me every time I prepared dinner.


At that time, I was still sick with Lyme symptoms, so I turned to Dr. Gurevich to help me to let go of this past trauma. Releasing conditioned ego thoughts are very hard to do on your own. (See The Holistic Dr. Goodsoul for my therapy session with Dr. Gurevich)


Since I am symptom free now, I have found wonderful practitioners near me, who have helped to shift my thoughts of fear and anger to love and forgiveness.


Douglas Economy, a Holistic Psychotherapist and Life Coach,  specializes in Family Constellation workshops, and  has helped me to release past trauma and see myself and my loved ones, in a loving and joyful way.  Family constellation work is a powerful therapy that has profoundly changed my life! (See Systemic Family Constellation - A Miracle Therapy) for more info.

Kathy Moser is a gifted CranioSacral Therapist who has helped me to resolve physical as well as emotional pain. She has helped me to connect to my Spiritual Self and to the truth of who I am. Kathy is part of my life  journey in forgiveness work and staying healthy in mind, body and spirit. (See CranioSacral Therapy & Somato Emotional Release for my healing session with Kathy).
I feel very blessed that Douglas and Kathy are part of my journey of wellness. I am also blessed that they have helped me to  decipher and understand the life changing book that I mentioned earlier. For this book, is the foundation to a new way of thinking for me. Thinking without fear, without judgment, and with forgiveness, is very new to me.  And that is why I am now a student.
A student in learning to think and act with love and kindness. A student of forgiving and letting go. A student of transforming my thoughts into my “heaven on Earth.”
I am blessed to be a student of “A Course in Miracles.”

 It’s got all the answers.



Tuesday, February 14, 2017

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS


Back in the 80’s, I had a nice little solo career playing piano and singing in piano bars all throughout the tri-state area. One of my popular request songs was “I Want to Know What Love Is” by the band Foreigner. When I was singing the song back then, I never really thought about the words - I just loved to belt out the chorus and get everyone to join in with me:

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS
I WANT YOU TO SHOW ME
I WANT TO FEEL WHAT LOVE IS
I KNOW YOU CAN SHOW ME

I recently just heard it again on a classic rock station and this time, the words got me thinking... - “I want to know what love is”...hmmm….

Do I really know what love is?  Or... is it possible that I just have an idea of what love is? Maybe we all have an idea of what love is but there is so much more to love that we are not aware of?  I’m not talking about a romantic love - which is temporary. I’m talking about a love that defines each of us. A real love that is within us, connects us, surrounds us and never dies. A real love that is safe and eternal.

But, in our society, we receive mixed messages in the name of love. Especially when it comes to loving ourselves. We aren’t taught to look at ourselves in a kind way. We aren’t taught to respect and honor ourselves without judgment. When we look in the mirror, do these words reflect back to us?

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7


“Love rejoices with the truth.” So what is the truth? What is real love? Is real love loaded with drama? Is real love so complicated? Is real love somehow tied to fear?

Love and drama sure seem to go hand and hand.  I recently had a crisis in my family that led me to see a vision of this perception.

In December, my  90 year old mother fell in her house and was in the hospital for almost a week. She had no broken bones but was very dehydrated and weak. While waiting to be discharged, she tried walking without her oxygen, collapsed in a chair and stopped breathing. This all happened in a matter of seconds. I called the nurse and within a flash, my mom’s room was filled with a team of nurses and doctors to the rescue.  She was resuscitated very quickly and recovered.

While driving home, later that night, I broke down, sobbing and shaking and praying to God, please get me home alive. While hysterical, I prayed to the inner guidance within me and I began to calm down. And that’s when it hit me. I was reacting in fear. I was shaking and sobbing - because of fear - not love.

At that moment, I realized that my mother and I had this entanglement of love and fear all our lives. Since I was very young, my mother had this abnormal fear for my safety. This fear is still with her.  Now, it was my turn to fear for her. I was fearing for her safety. When I saw her almost die, I felt like I almost died.  

And then,  it became very clear to me  - I saw my mother as a reflection of who I believed I was.

My mom’s close brush with death was a trigger that woke me to the thought that I was seeing myself and the world around me through the eyes of a confusing mix of love and fear. Like my mother, I believed fear and love were somehow connected - you were supposed to fear for yourself. You were supposed to fear for your loved ones. You were supposed to fear for your spouse, your partner. You were supposed to fear for your children.

This crisis was my opportunity for me to learn that  fear has nothing to do with love.

NOTHING!!

And it was also an opportunity for me to shift my perspective from seeing myself and my world from the eyes of fear...to the eyes of love.


To be cont.


Saturday, December 3, 2016

LET THERE BE PEACE ON EARTH AND LET IT BEGIN...WITH ME!

Tis the season to be jolly and Christmas music is in the air! One of my favorite songs from grade school is  “Let There Be Peace on Earth”,  a popular hymn-like song that has become standard repertoire in many public schools and churches during the holiday season. I still get teary eyed whenever I hear it!

So why is this simple song loved by so many people? Because this beautiful little song is a prayer - a prayer of hope.

Let me go back to how the song came about. It was written in 1955 by Jill Jackson Miller, who wrote the lyrics, and her husband Sy Miller, who composed the melody. Here is a radio interview of Jill’s recount of what inspired her to create the lyrics:

“When I attempted suicide (in 1944) and didn’t succeed, I knew for the first time, unconditional love, what God is. You are totally loved, totally accepted, just the way you are. In that moment, I was not allowed to die, and something happened to me, which is very difficult to explain. I had an eternal moment of truth, of which I knew I was loved, and I knew I was here for a purpose.” - from the archives of the National Public Radio program, Humankind.

She continued to explore her new found spirituality and discovered her love for writing songs.This led to writing, "Let there Be Peace on Earth" with her husband.

Here is Sy Miller’s recount of the effect of this song:

“One summer evening in 1955, a group of about 180 teenagers, of all races and religions, meeting at a workshop high in the California mountains, locked arms, formed a circle and sang a song of peace. They felt that singing the song, with it’s simple basic sentiment - ‘Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me’ - helped to create a climate for world peace and understanding.

When they came down from the mountain, these inspired young people brought the song with them and started sharing it…” **



Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me;
Let there be peace on earth,
The peace that was meant to be.

With God as our father
Brothers all are we,
Let me walk with my brother
In perfect harmony.

Let peace begin with me
Let this be the moment now;
With every step I take
Let this be my solemn vow.

To take each moment and live each moment
In peace eternally.
Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me.

The message to this beautiful prayer is simple, but often, we find it difficult to be at peace with ourselves. Being at peace with yourself can be complicated and confusing! Our ego selves do not want to be at peace. Our ego thoughts  tell us that we are lacking in money, control, looks, good health, you name it! Our ego thoughts tell us that we are weak and vulnerable. We judge and criticize ourselves and each other. We  think we are not good enough! These are all beliefs that are causing us pain and suffering...the total opposite of peace and harmony. And these beliefs are looping through our minds 24/7 each and every day.

So how can we begin to have peace on earth and peace within us?

Choose to think with the divine thoughts of unconditional love, gratitude, compassion and praise.  In other words, choose to think with the thoughts of God. Let this song be a reminder that peace is within you 24/7, each and every day!


"Let There Be Peace on Earth" is also a blessing.  A blessing is a divine thought or a wish - a wish  of love, happiness, gratitude and joy to everyone and everything. “Let it begin with me” is a blessing  to yourself!  When you feel blessed, then your world will reflect your inner thoughts. When you feel at peace, then your world will be at peace. “Brothers all are we” means that we are all connected. We are all brothers and sisters. So let us connect to the higher awareness of harmony and bless everyone.  Bless everyone you see today with good health, peace, happiness, prosperity and joy. This blessing will reflect back to you.

So with that thought, here is my version of "Let There Be Peace on Earth" that I’d like to share with you:


Let there be joy on earth, and let it begin with me.

Let there be abundance on earth, and let it begin with me.

Let there be good health on earth, for good health was meant to be,

Let there be love in our hearts, and let it begin with me.


And, last but not least…

Let there be peace in our thoughts and words,

Let there be peace in our hearts and souls.

Let there be peace in everything we do

And let it begin….with me.




I wish you love and peaceful blessings now and always!!








Friday, October 21, 2016

What "God Heals and The Doctor Takes the Fee" Means To Me

About two years ago, I was in this cute little card shop in the funky town of  Woodstock, NY and my eye caught a handmade card of an ink drawing of Benjamin Franklin with his quote : God Heals and the Doctor Takes the Fee.

Intuitively, I bought the card and placed it on a shelf in my studio, where I can see it and think about it almost every day.

This Karrik card is hand designed and printed with an old letterpress!

Now, as you well know, Benjamin Franklin was a really smart guy! He was not only one of the “Founding Fathers” who drafted  the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States,  but an inventor (of bifocal glasses among other things), a scientist, a writer, a Freemason, a philosopher and the list goes on.

Ben was also a revolutionary thinker. And as an open-minded revolutionary thinker, he was not afraid to express his beliefs about many things, including his belief in God.

So what does “God Heals and the Doctor Takes the Fee” mean?

To me, it means thinking of God independent of any religion. God created each one of us and we ALL have the power to connect with Him. God has blessed each of us with a Divine Light or Holy Spirit that can guide us to our true selves. And your true self is Unconditional Love! We have a connection to God within us and we are never separate from him. Never! 

All healing comes from within. It doesn’t matter what medicine you take, or what therapy you choose. It doesn’t matter if you take a conventional path or choose an alternative path. What matters is that the path that you choose resonates with you and that the doctor or practitioner that you choose also resonates with you, too. Remember that healing comes from within and every doctor knows this.

When I first walked into Dr. Gurevich’s office, I clearly remember him saying that  he could help me to get well. But I knew, in my heart, that  it was up to me to HEAL!  And for me to heal, I had to see myself as a HEALER!  So, with the help of Dr. Gurevich and his holistic approach to healing, I began to see, feel  and experience the HEALER within me.  
By connecting to the Divine Light or Holy Spirit within us,  we are connecting to God. God is Love and Love is the greatest healer!   

So how can we connect to the healing God within us?

Prayer and meditation have been proven to put you in a healing  and positive state. (Click Prayers, Blessings and Healing Affirmations for more info)

Here is a meditation that was given to me by Dr. Gurevich to help undo the ego (thoughts of fear, anger, worry , guilt, etc.)  and retrain your  thoughts to “what is real, what is true and of God”.

Meditation: Do 5 minutes a day – On Waking and at Bedtime To Undo the Ego and Wake Up

“Turn your mind, your thoughts and you day over to the Holy Spirit. Give it back charge and control. Let it be the boss instead of the ego.

Ask the Holy Spirit to help you, forgive, heal and correct your mind so you can experience only what is real and true and of God.

Close your eyes. See a beautiful white light that extends everywhere without limit – soothing, pure love coming toward you: Just before it gets to you, imagine an altar appearing just before you. On the altar, place all your desires, dreams, goals and plans – whatever you think you need to make you happy. Watch them disappear into the light, a gift from God.

Also, place your worries, problems, fears, illnesses, and all sense of darkness, limitations or guilt on the altar. See it disappear into the light. Feel the light surround and envelop you, becoming one with the light, pure love extending in all directions infinitely – feel yourself going on forever; one with God, pure love, pure joy – nothing missing – feeling full and complete. Feel you are the same and one with God. The body disappears. We are everywhere expanding forever in all directions – pure spirit.

Say to God: Father – I love you – thank you for always loving me and creating me exactly like you – we are one. Thank you for always being with me, caring for me, protecting me, watching over me. Thank you  for the experience of being with you forever.
Feel that everyone you have ever known and loved, people, animals, are here with you as one. Get lost in God’s love within the light. Feel the deep love and gratitude you have for God and God’s love for you.

Stay in the silence immersed in the light for 5 minutes. Open your eyes and ask the Holy Spirit to help you remember this feeling of love and oneness with God. Throughout the day if anything disturbs your peace or irritates you, make contact with the Holy Spirit and ask it to help you forgive anything in your mind having to do with this, to heal it and correct your mind so that you can know and remember what is true and of God.”

Another powerful and effective way to connect to the healer within is through tapping. Tapping or Mental Field Therapy is a profound healing tool that can help you to overcome anxiety, fear, pain, past emotional trauma and unresolved emotional conflicts, etc., by  simply tapping on acupuncture points. I was introduced to tapping by Dr. Rasa and Dr. Gurevich who practice MFT to help heal their patients.

MFT has given me the power to overcome many fears by bringing my fear into my consciousness and replacing the fear with loving affirmations.  My affirmations had to  include this phrase - “with the help of God, I can dissolve this fear and be healthy and whole “ in order to overcome the belief that I didn’t have the power to heal myself. Believing and saying that God was within me and helping me was essential for my healing and correcting my ego thoughts. (See Mental Field Therapy and my post, I think I’m Getting The Fear for my own MFT sessions)

Healing Blessings to all of you!!


Sunday, August 21, 2016

Overcoming the Fear of Lyme Disease

This is a  picture of my lower front leg.  Yes, that is some type of rash and most likely a bite from a mosquito or some other flying insect. The funny thing is that I don’t remember any insect biting me.  I hadn’t been on the grass. I wasn’t hiking that weekend. The “bite” seemed to pop up out of nowhere! 
The mysterious rash...

But what I do remember was that this spot started to itch when I was  hearing a very angry speaker at a discussion group.  And what is more bizarre was that I was sitting next  to a woman with a huge black rose tattoo on her thigh and I thought to myself “How could she do that to her leg?” As I was becoming irritated  by the speaker and annoyed by the tattooed girl, that spot on my leg was also becoming more and more irritating and annoying!

Was this a coincidence or a connection? Was this “bite” some kind of emotional reaction?

Within a few days, the  bite expanded and the itching became insanely unbearable. To my horror, I realized that this “bite” looked similar to the original  bullseye  “bite”  that was on my chest back in the spring of 1996.  Memories of that first bite, that plunged me into chronic Lyme disease, flooded my thoughts with fear, panic and dread.

Oh My God, why is this  happening all over again?  Am I’m going to get sick!  I can’t believe it! What is wrong with me? This is not fair! This sucks! I’m screwed!....were the thoughts that were hysterically looping around in my mind.

I also realized that my past trauma was causing me to react on the physical level.  That is “my fear of suspicious bites, triggered my fear of chronic illness (aka chronic Lyme), which triggered my immune system to react.”  (See I Think I’m Getting the Fear - for a  fascinating  therapy session with Dr. Gurevich in which he helps me to overcome the fear of bites and sickness back in 2012).

But with this  new trigger, comes the realization that  I still had more work to do! I was in a complete state of panic! I took a deep breath in order to gather my thoughts and within  a matter of seconds, I became aware that I caught myself  thinking like a victim!

“Why am I telling myself  that I’m going to get sick? Why?  My sickness was in the past. I feel great now!  So why am I screaming to myself “You’re going to get sick!!”

Why would I be wishing misery and sickness for myself? Do I subconsciously want myself to be sick?

Or could this be a thought pattern that I said to myself many, many  times and was just not aware of?

I have learned that every physical condition starts with a thought! This “bite” was my trigger to let me know that I had more healing to do. My fear of bug bites leading to chronic illness had not been fully resolved back in 2012 with Dr. Gurevich. This new trigger was now  my opportunity to shift my perspective from being attacked, to healing  at a deeper emotional and, yes, spiritual level.  And...I had to act quickly before my thoughts had time to manifest into an alter reality of my own creation. In other words, I had to put myself in a healing state before my powerful, influential thoughts became real physical symptoms.

So within a few days…

I began to drink the Lime Medicine Tea - a natural anti-malarial blood cleanser and effective detoxifier, that boosts your immune system! (Click Lime Medicine Tea for the article and recipe.)

Started a course of doxycycline.

Practiced Tapping (Mental Field Therapy) - to help me to overcome the fear of recurring Lyme disease. But since this  fear was so huge and so out of control for me, I could not overcome this fear on my own. I needed help.

So...

During my weekly spiritual discussion group, I talked about my problem and Douglas Economy offered to help me with a constellation process . Through the constellation, Doug guided me into seeing the bite through a  higher, loving perspective.  With this shift,  I was able to observe the rash without fear or judgment. (Click Systemic Family Constellation - A Miracle Therapy for more info)

I also was lucky enough to see CranioSacral Therapist, Kathy Moser, the following day. Kathy helped me to connect to the love,  healer and Holy Spirit within me. Through Kathy’s powerful therapy, I was able to shift out of a state of fear into a state of unconditional love, forgiveness and wellness.  Through this shift, I was seeing myself in a new perspective. I began to see that  my thoughts of recurring Lyme symptoms, are not a part of who I am.  Kathy guided me into seeing my fear of brain fog and fatigue as flowing water, naturally moving from my head through my spine down my legs to my bite and back. This visualization shifted my awareness to a state of inner relaxation and peace.  (Click CranioSacral Therapy & Somato Emotional Release for a past healing session with Kathy)

The fear of Lyme is not who I am and I forgive myself for believing this. Thoughts of fear are beliefs that I created. But they are not real. They are just an illusion that I believed was real. When I shift to my state of unconditional love, I am in a state of peace and wellness. I am learning to see that this is reality. It simply is reality for it cannot be changed. Thoughts of fear - any kind of fear - are not real. - These thoughts can be changed.

When you believe fear is real, then you create  drama in your life. When you see yourself as love and peace, then your life will reflect your inner thoughts.



So with this new perspective in my thought process,  am I out of the panic zone?

Yes!  

But I can honestly say... only for now….

My 2012 Lyme panic and now this new one were not the only times I have had large, irritated itchy, horrible looking, questionable “bites" on my body.  Since my first bite back in 1996, I have had a history of “suspicious bites” like the one  pictured above.  The question that is rolling around in my mind is how can I prevent this “trigger” from happening again? Can it be done?

Yes - I believe it can!

But learning that my reality is unconditional love  - a state of ultimate health and wellness of the body, mind and spirit,  is a belief that is new to me. And this is the healing journey that is ahead of me.

My healing journey has become a spiritual journey of healing my mind. For this, I believe, is the source of all my fears.