Wednesday, June 13, 2012

"I Must Not Fear...Fear Is The Mind-Killer..."


From the Ben Gessirit “Litany Against Fear” - Dune (1984)

"Even though I fear bug bites leading to chronic disease, I believe that I have the power to be completely healthy and whole. Even though I fear chronic sickness, I believe with the guidance of God, I will dissolve this fear.”


I was in a surreal daydream. As I continued to tap and recite my personal Litany Against Fear, I suddenly felt lightheaded, weak and exhausted. My brain felt fried! My thoughts were unclear! I felt shell-shocked! Was this therapy that powerful?  I could hardly stand up from Dr. Goodsoul’s examining table. My session with Dr. Goodsoul was over for now, but I wasn’t ready to go home yet.  I certainly was in no condition to drive. So, I continued my litany and tapping with Dr. Goodsoul’s assistant, in another office, for another half hour or so, until I was calm enough to drive home.

Before I left his office, Dr. Goodsoul informed me that I had been experiencing a kind of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder over my first tick bite!  My anxiety over bug bites manifested into an anxiety disorder! Ay Yi Yi!  This was the psychological component of the neuropsychoimmunological loop - my fear of suspicious bites, triggered my fear of chronic disease, (aka Lyme), then triggered my immune system to react.  

Did tapping and affirmations actually bring this “mind-killer” to the surface? Was this why I was feeling so drained and shell-shocked?  Was this why my head was so fuzzy?
There was no question that my mental, emotional and physical states of being were responding in unison. And what was the connection?

FEAR!!!

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD can happen to anyone who has experienced some type of traumatic episode in their life. I’ve always associated it with war veterans or victims of some type of terrifying event. But PTSD symptoms vary and can be hard to diagnose. Many people that have been diagnosed with chronic sickness or a devastating disease may have PTSD and are not aware of it. I was not aware that I had this “common” anxiety disorder.

And then it hit me! I was reliving MANY fears every time I got a suspicious bug bite.
I was reliving the fear that crept up inside of me when I was told that I had a persistent and complicated disease that would always be with me. I was reliving the fear that I was too powerless to fight this disease. I was reliving the fear of no one understanding what I was going through.  I was reliving the fear that somehow I was doomed and that I’d never be completely healthy and well.

These fear-laced thoughts were very real to me. I believed in these thoughts.  But these thoughts weren’t helping me. These thoughts were depressing my body, mind and soul. These thoughts were making me sicker.
                                                                                     
So now I’m in the process of changing these destructive thoughts and beliefs to healing frequencies. I’m in the process of changing my health and well-being. I’m in the process of rewiring harmful thought patterns to healing affirmations. And reciting affirmations are now a part of my life.

Through my affirmations, I have found a spiritual connection that I’m just beginning to understand. When I ask for the guidance of God or the Universe, I believe that I’m not in this struggle alone. I’m not asking God to heal me. I’m asking God to guide me and help me to heal myself.

 I’m asking God to help the healer within:

“I am ready to be well…I am ready to be completely well.”**

“I am willing to be well; My heart, brain, liver, breast….is able to heal and be totally well again.”**

“I give myself permission to be free of chronic disease from now on; I let go of every problem that causes my condition to occur and persist.” **

“I let go all of my beliefs that I will stay ill;  I let go of every problem that is blocking me from expressing God’s will through my thoughts, feelings, words, works and actions.”**

**   selections of affirmations prescribed by Dr. Goodsoul



“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become.” - Buddha