Sunday, August 21, 2016

Overcoming the Fear of Lyme Disease

This is a  picture of my lower front leg.  Yes, that is some type of rash and most likely a bite from a mosquito or some other flying insect. The funny thing is that I don’t remember any insect biting me.  I hadn’t been on the grass. I wasn’t hiking that weekend. The “bite” seemed to pop up out of nowhere! 
The mysterious rash...

But what I do remember was that this spot started to itch when I was  hearing a very angry speaker at a discussion group.  And what is more bizarre was that I was sitting next  to a woman with a huge black rose tattoo on her thigh and I thought to myself “How could she do that to her leg?” As I was becoming irritated  by the speaker and annoyed by the tattooed girl, that spot on my leg was also becoming more and more irritating and annoying!

Was this a coincidence or a connection? Was this “bite” some kind of emotional reaction?

Within a few days, the  bite expanded and the itching became insanely unbearable. To my horror, I realized that this “bite” looked similar to the original  bullseye  “bite”  that was on my chest back in the spring of 1996.  Memories of that first bite, that plunged me into chronic Lyme disease, flooded my thoughts with fear, panic and dread.

Oh My God, why is this  happening all over again?  Am I’m going to get sick!  I can’t believe it! What is wrong with me? This is not fair! This sucks! I’m screwed!....were the thoughts that were hysterically looping around in my mind.

I also realized that my past trauma was causing me to react on the physical level.  That is “my fear of suspicious bites, triggered my fear of chronic illness (aka chronic Lyme), which triggered my immune system to react.”  (See I Think I’m Getting the Fear - for a  fascinating  therapy session with Dr. Gurevich in which he helps me to overcome the fear of bites and sickness back in 2012).

But with this  new trigger, comes the realization that  I still had more work to do! I was in a complete state of panic! I took a deep breath in order to gather my thoughts and within  a matter of seconds, I became aware that I caught myself  thinking like a victim!

“Why am I telling myself  that I’m going to get sick? Why?  My sickness was in the past. I feel great now!  So why am I screaming to myself “You’re going to get sick!!”

Why would I be wishing misery and sickness for myself? Do I subconsciously want myself to be sick?

Or could this be a thought pattern that I said to myself many, many  times and was just not aware of?

I have learned that every physical condition starts with a thought! This “bite” was my trigger to let me know that I had more healing to do. My fear of bug bites leading to chronic illness had not been fully resolved back in 2012 with Dr. Gurevich. This new trigger was now  my opportunity to shift my perspective from being attacked, to healing  at a deeper emotional and, yes, spiritual level.  And...I had to act quickly before my thoughts had time to manifest into an alter reality of my own creation. In other words, I had to put myself in a healing state before my powerful, influential thoughts became real physical symptoms.

So within a few days…

I began to drink the Lime Medicine Tea - a natural anti-malarial blood cleanser and effective detoxifier, that boosts your immune system! (Click Lime Medicine Tea for the article and recipe.)

Started a course of doxycycline.

Practiced Tapping (Mental Field Therapy) - to help me to overcome the fear of recurring Lyme disease. But since this  fear was so huge and so out of control for me, I could not overcome this fear on my own. I needed help.

So...

During my weekly spiritual discussion group, I talked about my problem and Douglas Economy offered to help me with a constellation process . Through the constellation, Doug guided me into seeing the bite through a  higher, loving perspective.  With this shift,  I was able to observe the rash without fear or judgment. (Click Systemic Family Constellation - A Miracle Therapy for more info)

I also was lucky enough to see CranioSacral Therapist, Kathy Moser, the following day. Kathy helped me to connect to the love,  healer and Holy Spirit within me. Through Kathy’s powerful therapy, I was able to shift out of a state of fear into a state of unconditional love, forgiveness and wellness.  Through this shift, I was seeing myself in a new perspective. I began to see that  my thoughts of recurring Lyme symptoms, are not a part of who I am.  Kathy guided me into seeing my fear of brain fog and fatigue as flowing water, naturally moving from my head through my spine down my legs to my bite and back. This visualization shifted my awareness to a state of inner relaxation and peace.  (Click CranioSacral Therapy & Somato Emotional Release for a past healing session with Kathy)

The fear of Lyme is not who I am and I forgive myself for believing this. Thoughts of fear are beliefs that I created. But they are not real. They are just an illusion that I believed was real. When I shift to my state of unconditional love, I am in a state of peace and wellness. I am learning to see that this is reality. It simply is reality for it cannot be changed. Thoughts of fear - any kind of fear - are not real. - These thoughts can be changed.

When you believe fear is real, then you create  drama in your life. When you see yourself as love and peace, then your life will reflect your inner thoughts.



So with this new perspective in my thought process,  am I out of the panic zone?

Yes!  

But I can honestly say... only for now….

My 2012 Lyme panic and now this new one were not the only times I have had large, irritated itchy, horrible looking, questionable “bites" on my body.  Since my first bite back in 1996, I have had a history of “suspicious bites” like the one  pictured above.  The question that is rolling around in my mind is how can I prevent this “trigger” from happening again? Can it be done?

Yes - I believe it can!

But learning that my reality is unconditional love  - a state of ultimate health and wellness of the body, mind and spirit,  is a belief that is new to me. And this is the healing journey that is ahead of me.

My healing journey has become a spiritual journey of healing my mind. For this, I believe, is the source of all my fears.






5 comments:

Anonymous said...

thank you so much for sharing this!

healerdealer said...

Your welcome, Anonymous! I share my story as therapy not only for me, but to spread awareness and new perspectives for everyone!

Lindsay Pevny said...

Healing from the inside out - I love it! I hope you're feeling better, has this rash improved?

healerdealer said...

Yes, Lindsey Pevny! The rash is gone! And I'm feeling great! Thank you for commenting!

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