Friday, May 30, 2014


When I became aware of my thoughts, I again was stunned to discover that I saw myself as a victim from the time I was very young. Thoughts like:

Why is this happening to me? What's wrong with me? It's my fault! It’s their fault!  It’s not fair! Why can't I ever get a break? AND..the big one...Why is God punishing me? - were the constant negative messages that were in my daily thought process. When I became chronically sick with Lyme (also known as MSIDS – Multi-Systemic Infectious Disease Syndrome, these unconscious messages magnified and led to depression.

After reading, Louise Hay's wonderful self-healing book, YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE, I realized that I had unknowingly created a world of resentment, fear, criticism and guilt. Eckhart Tolle's revolutionary book, THE POWER OF NOW, made me aware that I was not living in the present. Every day, I was unknowingly punishing myself with thoughts from my past. Thoughts of people who had hurt me. Thoughts of resentment. Thoughts of anger. Thoughts of blame. And thoughts of self-loathing.

I had unconsciously made myself into a helpless victim...of my THOUGHTS!!!

So when did I start becoming my own worst enemy?

“When we are very little, we learn to feel about ourselves and about life by the reactions of the adults around us...If you lived with people who were very unhappy, frightened, guilty, or angry, then you learned a lot of negative things about yourself and about your world...

When we grow up, we have a tendency to recreate the emotional environment of our early home life...this is not good or bad, right or wrong; it is just what we know inside as “home”...We treat ourselves the way our parents treated us. We scold and punish ourselves in the same way...We also love and encourage ourselves on the same way, if we were loved and encouraged as children...

However, I would not blame our parents for this. We are all victims of victims, and they could not possibly have taught us anything they did not know. If your mother did not know how to love herself, or your father did not know how to love himself, then it would be impossible for them to teach you to love yourself. They were doing the best they could with what they had been taught as children...Those people who “did all that stuff to you” were just as frightened and scared as you are”...from the book, YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE by Louise Hay.

The thought that “my mother did not know how to love herself, or my father did not know how to love himself, then it would be impossible for them to teach me how to love myself”, was a revelation for me! WE ARE ALL VICTIMS OF VICTIMS! They were doing the best they could. they loved me the best that they could  but...they also saw themselves as victims!

I unconsciously believed I was a victim. I unconsciously blamed my parents and other people for problems that manifested in my life. I unconsciously felt that I wasn't responsible for my own problems and experiences. I unconsciously blamed God for my problems. I was unconscious that I harbored all this resentment and blame.

Until...I became aware!

“If we choose to believe we are helpless victims and that it's all hopeless, then the Universe will support us in that belief, and we will go down the drain. It is vital that we release these foolish, outmoded, negative ideas and beliefs that do not support us and nourish us. Even our concept of God needs to be one that is FOR US, not against us.” from the book YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE by Louise Hay.
I completely agree with Louise Hay's inspirational advice, but, this is easier said than done. I was so stuck in my negative thinking that I needed help to release my past emotional blocks. The
energetic therapies of Dr. Lovejoy's and Dr. Goodsoul's, such as Applied Psycho-Neurobiology (APN) and Mental Field Therapy (MFT) helped me to heal many of my self-destructive thoughts..

MFT - an amazing and effective self-help therapy, has made it possible for me to release the layers of pain from my past in the privacy of my own home. This therapy is proof that we all have the power to replace self-destructive thoughts with new patterns of love, acceptance, forgiveness and gratitude.

I am no longer my own worst enemy. I am no longer a victim of my mind. God never punished me. I punished me! I  now know that I am responsible for everything that I  do, think and say.  I now know I have the power to choose my thoughts. So I choose good health. I choose gratitude. I choose joy. I choose to release the past and forgive everyone – even myself!. And most of all, I choose love.

I choose to love myself. I choose to accept myself. For most of my life, I didn’t love myself - ENOUGH! So I am now learning to love all my imperfections as well as the divinity of who I am.

I am learning that the root of many of our problems is lack of self-love. If we can all learn to love and accept ourselves, then our world would  truly be a peaceful place.  This new world would reflect our harmonious thoughts. All thoughts are energy. And we are energetic beings creating our own world. We can create a life of peace and harmony or we can create a life of misery and suffering.  Our present thoughts create our future experiences.  So think beautiful loving thoughts, for yourself and others, and that will be your world!

Iceberg Lake Trail in Glacier National Park - My New World :)

“...When we really love and accept and APPROVE OF OURSELVES EXACTLY AS WE ARE, then everything in life works. It is as if little miracles are everywhere. Our health improves, we attract more money, our relationships become much more fulfilling, and we begin to express ourselves in creatively fulfilling ways. All this seems to happen without our even trying.” - YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE by Louise Hay


Anonymous said...

all so true!

healerdealer said...

I share my experiences to raise awareness and hope!

Thanks for stopping by!