Sunday, March 30, 2014


I have recovered from chronic Lyme disease, (Multi-Systemic InfectiousDisease Syndrome) through holistic and energetic therapies. Some of these therapies addressed not only physical symptoms, but cleared unresolved emotional issues that were affecting my health. For the first time in my life, I became consciously aware of my thoughts and realized that I was burdened with daily negative thought patterns that plagued me since I was very young.

So when did my thoughts start becoming my own worst enemy? As I look back, even though I had a relatively happy childhood, I began to develop mood swings, including episodes of anxiety), as early as the age of 6. My cranky moods were unpredictable but many times came out during festive occasions like family outings, birthday parties, shopping trips, etc.

Here is a picture of me, pouting, while at the zoo with my childhood friends.

Moody me!

My mother had taken me and my girlfriends to the local zoo to celebrate my 7th birthday. For some reason, I wasn't happy. And I certainly wasn't going to fake a smile for the picture. I remember being downright miserable. But for what reason – who knows? After all, I was only 7. So why do I look so...ungrateful? Why am I acting... like a spoiled brat!

Yes, unfortunately, I acted like a spoiled brat on many occasions! I was an only child for the first 8 years of my life. As an only child, I was around adults more than children. I received lots of adult attention which is not necessarily a good thing. Not all of this attention was loving and nurturing.

Being sensitive and intuitive, I would sometimes be overwhelmed with negative emotions that were confusing and disturbing. I remember being overcome with fear, insecurity, guilt and feeling isolated many times. These emotional tidal waves seemed to come out of nowhere. And I had absolutely no control over them. And being a young child, I couldn't verbalize these thoughts to my parents. I would act on them. The negative thoughts that I was feeling became negative behavior. My negative behavior, like acting like a spoiled brat, was the direct result of these negative emotions and ultimately feeling bad about myself.

Already, as a young child, I was beginning to feel the twisted thoughts of self-criticism, unworthiness and guilt. I had terrible guilt for thinking that I was the cause for these troubled thoughts swirling around in my head. After all, these bad thoughts belonged to me so I must be a bad kid. Right?

According to motivational author, Louise L. Hay, “when we are little, we learn how to feel about ourselves and about life by the reactions of the adults around us.” - from the book, You Can Heal Your Life.”

As a child, I had absorbed both positive and negative thought patterns from my parents. Even though my parents were loving and devoted parents, they were not aware of their thoughts. They were not aware of the negative influence and impact that these thought patterns would have on their children. They in turn, absorbed both positive and negative thought patterns from their parents. And so on and so on.

Positive thought patterns of love, thankfulness, forgiveness and compassion are healing and uplifting emotions. But negative thought patterns are a whole different story. These damaging patterns can be passed down (unintentionally) and absorbed from one generation to another and may be the cause of much strife in our society.

Research has proven how powerful your mind is but the concept of inherited thought patterns is still in its infancy. More research is needed for this concept to be accepted in mainstream philosophy. But until then, it is up to each of us to be responsible for our thoughts, words and actions and to be a positive force for ourselves, our children and our society.

The key is to be aware of your thoughts.

By identifying negative thought patterns, dissolving them and replacing them with positive loving thoughts, we can live happier, healthier and more productive lives.

To be cont.

Stay tuned for "So What's a Negative Thought Pattern? on the next Healer Dealer Diary!

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