THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE FEARS

(sung to the tune of My Favorite Things)

BY GUEST BLOGGER, RAY

Greetings from sunny California, and thanks to Danette for letting me post this guest blog. After reading some of her blog posts, I decided to share my feelings about some of my fears.

Fears can come from many sources.  For example, a close family friend in his teen years was involved in a broadside automobile collision, where the other car slammed into his door. Although he was not physically injured in the accident, he was so traumatized by this accident that he did not get his driver’s license for 20 years after that.

Other fears can do with worry about not having enough money, or not being pretty enough.Those kinds of fears can develop from different triggers that we experience during our lives.

However, some fears can have an earlier origin.  I am not really sure how many people believe in reincarnation.  I think a lot.  I came from a Protestant background and reincarnation is not a part of that religion.  But I did get exposed to the concept later in life, and have read a lot of books about the subject.  For me, it makes sense and I can accept it.

Some people are interested in finding out about their past lives.  They may pay a professional to regress them back to a time before they were born, to get information. 

Another way of doing it is to employ a channeler, who accesses details about you from someone on the Other Side.  I happened to be introduced by a friend to a channeler who I think is authentic and accurate.  I asked her about a few things.

One was a problem that I have urinating in a public restroom.  It has been a serious problem since I was a child.  I would always feel insecure when I was trying to go and would not be able to go.  What I learned was that in a past life, I was a Spanish conquistador leading an expedition through the American Southwest looking for gold.  We were not finding any gold after many months of searching, and my men wanted to turn back, but I refused.  As it was explained to me, while I was off by myself urinating in some brush, I was stabbed from behind and died from my wounds.  It made a lot of sense that my current condition could have that kind of source.

Another thing is fear of heights.  Not only can’t I climb up ladders, but I actually get vertigo watching someone on TV dealing with extreme heights. Again, this is a fear that I have experienced from the time I was a small child.  In this case, a past life regression revealed that in medieval times, I was intentionally pushed off the top of a high castle to my death.  I do have to say that in both of these cases, these fears became less for me after I learned that they originated from a past life. 

I also know that therapy works for some people who are trying to completely release these fears but I have not done that yet.  

I would also say that meditation is good for putting you in a calm state so that your fears are lessened, and that has worked for me.

There is really no reason to suffer with major fears when you have different options for uncovering the source and working on relieving them.

I wish all of you well on your journey.

LIVE FEARLESSLY AND DO WHAT YOU LOVE!!

Do you know how to live fearlessly? I sure didn’t! I had so many fears  swirling and looping around in my head that I was stuck in a rut for many, many years. My fears were very real to me, especially the fear of being judged and criticized. But my biggest fear  of all was  the fear of not being good enough.  It wasn’t until I became sick with Lyme disease, that I discovered the holistic path to wellness and recovered by means of uncovering the root causes of both physical and emotional issues. I had to look into my past in order to release many of my fears.  And this led me to my insecure childhood and teen years and….playing the piano.

I started piano lessons at seven and playing piano soon became second nature to me. By the time I was sixteen, I had performed with an orchestra and had my own debut recital, but I didn’t dream of becoming a concert pianist. My dream was to become a female Keith Emerson (keyboard wiz of the 70’s progressive rock band, Emerson, Lake and Palmer) and tour with my own band!

Do you see the worried look in my eyes?

There was only one small problem with that.  I had a fear of playing in front of people. In fact,

I was scared out of my mind! This fear began  when I entered piano competitions when I was eight years old. I just wasn’t ready for it. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was too young and not emotionally equipped to deal with the fact that I would be judged  and criticized for something

I loved to do. I didn’t make it to the finals that year.  Or the year after that. I started to think, maybe:

“I wasn’t good enough”.  And so it began.

The fear of “not being good enough” prevented me from achieving goals and dreams relating to the piano. I performed classical music quite often as a teenager, and did win a lot of competitions.. At the same time, each performance was a battle of fear and love. My thoughts of not being good enough were so overpowering that many times, I would forget the music, draw a blank and resort to faking it to get through the performance.  My fear of  “going blank”  was also a wake-up call. It  made me realize that I didn’t want to perform classical music anymore. I wanted to do my own thing. I didn’t want to worry about playing each note perfectly and struggling with difficult technical passages. I didn’t want to worry about being judged or criticized. I still wanted to play music  but I wanted to play my own music.  And so I started to write songs, learned how to sing, formed a band and recorded some demos.  And performed in Manhattan venues and elsewhere for many years.

I retired from performing when I had my kids, and was teaching piano from my home.  A few years ago, while recovering  from  chronic Lyme Disease, I started composing pieces for my students to perform.  I never had formal training to  prepare me for a career as a composer.  But somehow I knew that if I trained my foggy brain to create music, then I could ultimately help heal my mind and soul. Composing was not easy at first. It would take me months to compose a simple piano piece. But at the back of my mind, I kept on telling myself - “this is good for me, this is therapeutic, I need to do this.”  Composing put me in a good mood and made me feel productive. And looking back, I realize now that “I’m not good enough” or fear of failure never crossed my mind when I sat down to write.  And best of all,  my piano students loved to play and perform my pieces!

And now,  I’m happy to announce the launching of my new website,  DANETTE WHELAN MUSIC, where you can find my original piano pieces, arrangements  and ensemble compositions.   Sheet music, for all my pieces, is also available at Sheet Music Plus.

Getting my music out there and sharing what I love has been a dream of mine for many years.  But I had to change my perspective in order to make this “dream” into reality. As I dissolved the paralyzing blocks of fear, I realized that I was the one who was judging myself  too harshly.

I was the one who was being too self-critical. I was the one who could never be good enough.  

I created these destructive thoughts about myself and now it was time to change these thoughts. Now it was time to let that inner light shine through. I recaptured that loving inner light that I had as a child, when I was first learning how to play piano. That same inner light that says do what you love for love is what you are. Do what you love for that is what it is all about. Doing what you love  will lead to happiness and fulfillment.

And somehow, now, I am feeling incredibly free. (See Forgiveness Heals for therapies to release past emotional conflict.)

I am finally free of the powerful fear of judgment and the damaging fear of criticism.  And I am now, free to do what I love.  

Doing what you love is about living fearlessly.

Living fearlessly is about living lovingly.

And living lovingly is simply  just that:

Living with love in your heart...always.

NO. 1 NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION: LIVE FEARLESSLY!!!!

Let’s face it, we live in an ego-driven insane society in which psychological fear lurks in the back of practically everyone’s mind.  Fear is so conditioned into our thinking that most of us don’t even realize that many of our thoughts are loaded with some form of fear. Hate, anger, guilt, resentment, envy, jealousy, and so on, are all forms of fear!

We have accepted these destructive beliefs as just a part of who we are. It has become  normal to be angry. It has become normal to worry. It has become normal to be anxious. But the truth is that it is not really normal. Deep down inside, we sense that something is wrong but we haven’t the faintest clue what it is. All we know is that we are stuck in many fear-laden thought patterns that can lead us to depression, sickness, alienation and lack of fulfillment.

We are stuck.  And we don’t know how to get unstuck.

We try to escape the fear by self-medicating with drugs, alcohol, food,  etc. but this doesn’t resolve anything. The fear is still there. We try to escape the fear by being abusive to others and to ourselves, but again this doesn’t solve anything. The fear is still there. We try to escape the fear by distracting ourselves with things, but this only works temporarily. The fear is within us, it surrounds us and we truly believe there is no escape. But the reality is...this is simply not true.

Psychological fear is a belief, a thought. And I have learned that thoughts can be changed. Beliefs can be changed.

When I became aware of my own thoughts, I was absolutely shocked to discover how they were loaded with fear and are you ready... self-destruction! (Click here for my session for healing PTSD.)

I vividly remember breaking out into a cold sweat when I realized that my thoughts were killing me! My thoughts were causing me daily pain and suffering for many, many years and the worst part of it was that I had no idea that this was happening! (Click here for my session releasing a past fear thought pattern of bug bites leading to sickness.)

I realized that I had to change the way I thought and change what I believed to be true. I had to find a better way to live, think and be. I didn’t want to live with fear and self-destructive thoughts anymore.  I was ready to move on and change. I was ready to start living my life…fearlessly!!

I have learned that fear is the root  cause of pain and suffering. (See Anita Moorjani: Fear Caused My Cancer to learn more.) I have also learned that unconditional love is the greatest healer of all. (See Anita Moorjani: Unconditional Love Heals) But many of us, including myself, do not completely understand what unconditional love is. If we did, we would be loving ourselves and everyone else unconditionally.

When I started to release fears that were buried deep inside me, I began to access the love within me. My own fearful thoughts and beliefs were blocking me from being healthy, happy and fulfilled. (Click here for my session releasing the fear of "not being good enough."

In order to do this, I had to bring these thoughts into my conscious mind.  I wrote down all my fears so I could see how ridiculous they all were. (Do you think fear of death is ridiculous or does death scare you? What does your belief tell you?) And I have been working on dissolving them and letting my inner light shine through - one day at a time.

I am learning to get myself unstuck. I am learning to live my life ...fearlessly!! And most importantly, I am learning that your ideas, your beliefs are... thoughts.

Powerful thoughts.

My thoughts, your thoughts and the thoughts of our collective minds can be incredibly destructive or amazingly healing. And it is time to be responsible for our thoughts.

So I invite you to join me if you are ready and willing to change.  Changing your thoughts is a challenging process and it takes a lot of work. But if I can do it, anyone can!  We all know that misery loves company but being healthy, happy, thankful and free are just so much more fulfilling and...fun!

The first step is to try to be aware of your thoughts on a daily basis. It may be that you can only do this for little bits of time at first, but with practice, it will become part of your routine. The next step is when your mind turns to a negative thought, just “walk away” and try to think of something better and more positive. After a while, you should find that you are thinking positively most of the time. And this in turn makes for a happier person. (See Being Aware of your Thoughts for more info)

Resolve to live your life fearlessly for the new year!  Write down your fears and bring them to your conscious mind. Your fears are your inner child screaming for love. Give yourself the love that you deserve. Love yourself as if you were a new baby that is made with love and is loved completely without criticism or judgment. Try to love yourself unconditionally! Be kind to yourself. When you begin to see yourself being loved and loving, your thoughts and beliefs will reflect this and your life will happily change!

And with that loving, fearless thought - I wish everyone a healthy, happy and safe 2016!

Of course this will be continued - I could write a book on this subject and maybe I will. ;)

© Danette Whelan 2016

ANITA MOORJANI - UNCONDITIONAL LOVE HEALS

“In the tapestry of life, we’re all connected. Each one of us is a gift to those around us, helping each other be who we are, weaving a perfect picture together. When I was in the NDE (Near Death Experience), state, it all became so clear to me because I understood that to be me is to be love.  This is the lesson that saved my life.” - Anita Moorjani, author of Dying To Be Me

“Many of us still believe that we have to work at being loving, but that means living in duality, because there’s a giver and a receiver. Realizing that we are love transcends this. It means understanding that there’s no separation between you and me, and if I’m aware that I am love, then I know that you are, too. If I care for myself, then I automatically feel the same for you!

In my NDE state, I realized that the entire universe is composed of unconditional love, and I’m an expression of this. Every atom, molecule, quark, and tetraquark, is made of love. I can be nothing else, because this is my essence and the nature of the entire universe. Even things that seem negative are all part of the infinite, unconditional spectrum of love. In fact, Universal life-force energy is love, and I’m composed of Universal energy! Realizing this made me understand that I didn’t have to try to become someone else in order to be worthy. I already am all that I could attempt to be.

Similarly, when we know that we are love, we don’t need to work at being loving toward others. Instead, we just have to be true to ourselves, and we become instruments of loving energy, which touches everyone we come into contact with.

Being love, also means being aware of the importance of nurturing my own soul, taking care of my own needs, and not putting myself last all the time. This allows me to be true to myself at all times and to treat myself with total respect and kindness. It also lets me view what may be interpreted as imperfections and mistakes with no judgement, seeing only opportunities to experience and to learn with unconditional love.” - Anita Moorjani

Anita Moorjani, author of the bestselling memoir, DYING TO BE ME, healed from terminal cancer, as a result of having a NDE (Near Death Experience). ( See Anita Moorjani - Fear Caused My Cancer). Her profound experience gave her a new awareness and changed her perspective on how she saw herself and her world. This new awareness gave her the ability to heal herself within 5 weeks. She is still healthy today and is known world-wide for her insights that she gained from experiencing  the “other realm”.

Watch this interview of Anita. It is a 30 minute interview that changed my life. She speaks with absolute clarity, articulation and passion.  You just know she is on to something. I believe she has found a path of awareness for each of us to learn by - if we choose to believe her impassioned words.

Anita Moorjani’s NDE gave her the realization that we are love and love heals! Love is our true essence. When she saw herself as loving, her world became a reflection of her thoughts. By accessing the unconditional, non-judgmental love within her, she was able to heal herself.

I don’t know anyone who has experienced a NDE. But I know that you don’t need to have an NDE in order to gain insight and awareness. Like Anita, I have had a profound experience that changed my life and made me realize one very important thing:

Change comes from within.

When I began to break through the fears that were blocking me from  fully expressing myself, my world began to change. When I broke through the self-judging, the  self-criticism  and the fear of not being good enough, I realized that I was free to be me!

In other words, when you “free your mind” and follow your passion, live to create and access the love that you truly are...miracles do happen!!!

ANITA MOORJANI..."FEAR CAUSED MY CANCER."

“Fear is very subtle, and it can creep up gradually without our even noticing it. Looking back, I see that most of us are taught from a very young age to be afraid…”

Have you ever heard of Anita Moorjani? She is the  author of the  bestselling  book, DYING TO BE ME, a fascinating and enlightening memoir about how she overcame cancer as a result of having a NDE (Near Death Experience).

“After fighting cancer (lymphoma), for almost  four years, her body shut down - overwhelmed by the malignant cells spreading throughout her system. As her organs failed, she entered into an extraordinary near-death experience  where she realized her inherent worth...and the actual cause of her disease. Upon regaining consciousness, Anita found her condition had improved so rapidly that she was released from the hospital within weeks - without a trace of cancer in her body.”

As a result of what Anita had learned through her NDE, her perspective on how she saw herself changed and she realized that she had the power to heal herself. And she did.

Anita believes that it was her overwhelming sense of fear that caused her cancer!

So what was she afraid of?

“Just about everything, including failing, being disliked, letting people down, and not being good enough. I also feared illness, cancer in particular, as well as the treatment (chemotherapy) for cancer. I was afraid of living, and I was terrified of dying…

After my best friend, Soni, and brother-in-law were both diagnosed with cancer, I started to develop a deep fear of the disease...I began to do everything that I could to keep from getting sick. However, the more I read about prevention, the more I felt I had a reason to be afraid. It seemed to me that everything caused cancer. I read about how pathogens in the environment and food were carcinogenic. Microwaves, using plastic containers for food, eating anything with preservatives, using mobile phones - they all seemed to cause cancer. The list just went on and on....

Soni died while on chemo and this just exacerbated my fears...

Slowly, I found myself terrified of both dying and living. It was almost as if I were being caged by my fears. My experiencing of life was getting smaller and smaller, because to me, the world was a menacing place. And then I was diagnosed with cancer.”

WOW!!! This was incredible! This was a revelation!

Was this a coincidence that Anita’s emotional state before  and during her sickness was almost identical to mine? I felt the fear and anxiety that she was talking about. “I’m not good enough” was my mantra for my whole life!  I also believed the world was a “menacing place”. Especially being outside in nature - where ticks and mosquitoes can bite you  and  possibly make you sick.  

When I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease (MSIDS - Multi-Systemic Infectious Disease Syndrome), I clearly remember being terrified of getting Lyme before I got sick.  And after I got sick, I was desperate to get well, but terrified that I wouldn’t. I was totally frustrated, confused, depressed and most of all, scared. I truly believed that God was punishing me for some unknown reason. Read my blog post, I Think I’m Getting The Fear, that reveals my Lyme paranoia.

And, like Anita, I  believe that  this subtle thread of fear weaved throughout my thoughts from a young age.

Coincidentally, like Anita, my fears of death started as a child and were introduced to me through the teachings of the Catholic Church. Even though Anita was raised Hindu and I was Christian, our experiences are remarkably similar.

I was raised as a non-practicing Christian which means we celebrated Christmas and Easter but  we didn’t go to church and I wasn’t baptized when I was a baby. (This is a long story!) Back then, the Catholic religion taught that if you weren’t baptized or went to church on Sundays, then you would go to hell. When my Catholic cousins or school mates found out that I wasn’t baptized, they told me what they were taught - I was going to HELL!! This was the beginning of my nightmares of Jesus dragging me to hell, and Jesus scolding and punishing me.  And, you guessed it, I was terrified of Jesus, too!

I finally  was baptized at the age of eleven and became Catholic. I know now that I was  motivated to become Catholic  by one thing and one thing only: fear. But becoming Catholic didn’t put me at ease or resolve my fears - especially my fear of death. I was baptized now - so this meant  I was going to heaven.  But this still didn’t comfort me. I was still afraid of the unknown. I was also afraid of winding up in limbo - the place between heaven and hell. Or worse yet, what if I stop existing altogether?

I admit this was a lot of deep thinking for an eleven year old!   I believe my overwhelming fear  of dying catapulted into other fears and  anxieties  and remained in  my sub-conscious  thoughts throughout my whole life. Could these  thoughts manifest into sickness? Absolutely!  I believe that my  root cause to my illness was unresolved emotional trauma - in other words...FEAR!  

Many many years later,when I started to release my fears and started to access the love within me, I began to heal.

In Chapter 15, Anita talks about why she got sick:

“While I was in that state of clarity in the other realm, I instinctively understood that I was dying because of all my fears. I wasn’t expressing my true self because my worries were preventing me from doing so. I understood that the cancer wasn’t a punishment or anything like that. It was just my own energy, manifesting as cancer because my fears weren’t allowing me to express myself as the magnificent force I was meant to be.

In that expansive state, I realized how harshly I’d treated myself and judged myself throughout my life. There was nobody punishing me. I finally understood that it was me I hadn’t forgiven, not other people. I was the one who was judging me, whom I’d forsaken, and whom I didn’t love enough. I saw myself as a beautiful child of the universe. Just the fact that I existed made me deserving of unconditional love. I realized that I didn’t need to do anything to deserve this - not pray, nor beg, nor anything else. I saw that I’d never loved myself, valued myself, or seen the beauty of my own soul. Although the unconditional magnificence was always there for me, it felt as though physical life had somehow filtered it out or even eroded it away.

This understanding made me realize that I no longer had anything to fear.”

Anita’s experience allowed her “true self to shine through and release her fears.”

But Anita’s experience was extraordinary and unique! So how can you release your fears without experiencing an NDE?  

As for myself, I am still learning to re-condition my thoughts to serve me.  This is a daily process. By being aware of my thoughts, reading books by spiritual teachers, using my intuition, practicing MFT (tapping) and getting professional help to release past trauma, I  believe that I am on the road to a fulfilling and healthy life.

The therapies of Dr. Michael Gurevich, such as APN ( Applied Psycho-Neurobiology) and Neural Therapy, helped me to release fears. Read “I Think I’m Getting the Fear” and “ I Must Not Fear...Fear is the MInd-Killer” for my APN session with Dr. Gurevich. For more info on APN, read The Healing Crisis - for my APN session with Dr. Sharon Rasa.

Kathy Moser, a CranioSacral Therapist of Balanced Health and Healing, has helped me to connect to my Spiritual Self and disconnect my egoistic thoughts of  fear, anger and most of all...seeing myself as a victim!  Read CranioSacral Therapy and Somato Emotional Release for more info and  my own CST session with Kathy.

I have learned that I have the power to heal myself. MFT( Mental Field Therapy), consisting of tapping on acupuncture points, is an effective way to change negative thought patterns of fear into new thoughts of love, gratitude and forgiveness. Whenever I feel stuck in a negative thought pattern, MFT is my first go to method for releasing unresolved patterns. Read more on MFT and how I worked through my fear of chronic sickness.

“I understood that the reason that I got sick and then chose to come back was to serve as an instrument for healing to take place in others - not just physical healing, but more important, emotional healing, since our feelings are actually what drive our physical reality...”

I agree with Anita.  Our inner thoughts create our physical world. We are what we think and to quote Louise Hay - “your present thoughts create future experiences.” Our thoughts are energy and energy can be changed. Emotions are energy and emotions can be changed!

I am learning to change the fear...to love. ‘Cause that is what it is all about. When you change your thoughts - you change your world.

And loving thoughts…. create a loving world.

To be cont....

All quotes from the book, DYING TO BE ME, by Anita Moorjani.

© Danette C. Whelan 2015